January 18, 2009

Note to self - Do not believe Ghajini is based on Memento ...

I am republishing a note written on Facebook on Monday, January 5, 2009 at 11:35pm .. for the benefit of readers (which I don't think are many, but whatever) and because I would like it to be a part of this ...


Yes .. this is a note before I forget .. you see I have this condition .. it's not amnesia .. i do remember everything .. everything before the "incident" ... :D

... no I am not trying to mock people who may actually have anterograde short term memory loss ..

.. in fact, consider this a mockery of Ghajini ..

The recipe is simple ...

1. Take the Memento plot
2. Remove all the neatly woven complexity
3. Remove the directive brilliance
4. Remove the cinematographic brilliance
5. Convince a GOOD ACTOR who's in search of a different role
6. Better .. show him some southie movie done similarly and just remake it in hindi
7. Gather around a bunch of goons who can best their shoddy work till now
8. Throw in a decent music director .. who wants to go on a vacation .. instead you pay him to make bathroom music
9. Throw in a barby doll actress ... just so that the "Public" are glued by the "angles"
10. Most importantly, the main character .. bloat it up by not just few but million notches
10. a. How? .. Get the ala "Tarzan ka baap look" going for him
10. b. ......... Get him howl and scream every time he remembers the "incident"
10. c. ......... Even better .. to cover all this madness, try to get the skull suture details anatomically perfect ... hahh!
10. d. ......... Weave an unbelievably stupid story around his character to intensify the misery..
11. Now that you have fragmented the plot completely, you gonna need someone who puts it all together and still somehow has no reason whatsoever to feature in the plot .. so, throw in a medical student ... and her story .. importantly, make her run in outfits that will make you forget what she's doing here in the first place !
12. Umm .. the plot still sticks together somehow??? Break the damn thing down with a few songs .. after all we are paying the music director !!!
13. Publicity .. an essential for bollywood movies nowadays ! Here, I remember a dialogue from the movie "American Gangster" .. "How many times have I told you? The loudest person in the room is the weakest !" .. someone please record it and make Mr. AK listen to it ...

....... and there ... You have got yourself a film made named "Ghajini"

.... I would rather take a dump ....


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